Yesterday, i did two things I was afraid to do for the rest of my fast. I rode my bike, and I went to yoga. Yoga was awesome-- only five people showed up, anyway, and I just told the instructor (who was an eight-month pregnant substitute, and really great!) that I was fasting and going to take it easy. She was totally understanding (duh, she's a yoga instructor) and just told me to do whatever I needed to do. Her class was a pretty gentle Vinyasa anyway, and I just rested in child's pose when I needed to. I got a little light-headed-- woo, blood rush when I dive up or down!-- but it wasn't a problem. I felt very present and able.
There are a few things I have forgotten to notice this week that are different when I am fasting. I mentioned before the feeling of calm I've had. I don't get jittery or anxious really at all, which is no not say I don't get any emotion, but I don't feel anxiety for little to no reason, like one does with, oh, say, too much caffeine? I also hardly sweat!
And, though I am hesitant to publicize this, but I think I lost at least ten pounds. I weighed myself in the nude back in Portland at 140, and yesterday at the Y, clothed, at 130. Obviously, it is not a standardized measure, but there is definitely stuff missing. The reason I said I am hesitant to say it is because, being female, weight loss is so often assumed to be a desirable, even lusted after, experience (even for women with a very healthy, or even low, BMI). This is stupid! I reiterate-- I wasn't fasting to lose weight. I'll leave it at that.
So, do I feel cleansed? Uhm. Well. Not really. But I feel pretty good, and I'm glad I did this, and glad I made it through. I think it's pretty important to experiment and challenge your lifestyle occasionally. If you don't ask questions, how can you ever learn anything?
Friday, June 20, 2008
One is the loneliest number . . .
Yesterday, on my aforementioned venture to Six Flags, I had some rough times. It was enough to be out in the sun walking around for hours. But then I was tossed and turned and twisted around on thrill ride after thrill ride. Every loopty-loop left me with a ringing headache. My stomach, shriveled to the size of a peanut as it may have been, rose up into my mouth. I experienced vertigo and an imminent sense of my own death repeatedly, more than my frail constitution could bear. Damn, was it great.
When lunch came around, we went to the park's ill-executed foray into Mexican food, La Cocina. Most of my coworkers opted for the taco salad, which was consumed directly before my eyes in disbelief. Never in my life have I seen the word salad so generously applied to a meal. Let's get one fact straight, people: including lettuce in a meal DOES NOT A SALAD MAKE. This entree consisted of an enormous plastic bowl piled high with a bed of iceberg lettuce and tortilla chips. Seated atop the pile, tender strips of grilled chicken breast were scattered haphazardly in a feeble attempt to make this food look appetizing. But, then, the coup de grace, for what is a salad without salad dressing? Wait, I know, what's better than salad dressing? NACHO CHEESE! That's right: right on top of this sad mountain of shame was a stagnant lake of the orangiest, goopiest nacho cheese I have ever seen. And if this tower of tortured taste was not enough, Heinz brand salsa (in single serving portions no less) was available at the condiment station. Was this La Cocina's attempt to supplant KFC's Famous Bowl for the title of "failure pile in a sadness bowl"?
On another note, my doctor recently responded to my questions to her about the Master Cleanse. Her endorsement: a ringing NO! She said that she would not recommend the program based on her personal experiences with patients -- "one patient thought he was really sick, as if he was dying" after finishing the cleanse -- and on the lack of "evidence based medicine" supporting the claims of the Cleanse's proponents. This comes as no surprise, as mainstream medicine is generally distrustful of alternative medicine. But we will have to be careful about getting our bodies back in working order.
We are near the end, folks. Come 4 PM today, this fast is history.
When lunch came around, we went to the park's ill-executed foray into Mexican food, La Cocina. Most of my coworkers opted for the taco salad, which was consumed directly before my eyes in disbelief. Never in my life have I seen the word salad so generously applied to a meal. Let's get one fact straight, people: including lettuce in a meal DOES NOT A SALAD MAKE. This entree consisted of an enormous plastic bowl piled high with a bed of iceberg lettuce and tortilla chips. Seated atop the pile, tender strips of grilled chicken breast were scattered haphazardly in a feeble attempt to make this food look appetizing. But, then, the coup de grace, for what is a salad without salad dressing? Wait, I know, what's better than salad dressing? NACHO CHEESE! That's right: right on top of this sad mountain of shame was a stagnant lake of the orangiest, goopiest nacho cheese I have ever seen. And if this tower of tortured taste was not enough, Heinz brand salsa (in single serving portions no less) was available at the condiment station. Was this La Cocina's attempt to supplant KFC's Famous Bowl for the title of "failure pile in a sadness bowl"?
On another note, my doctor recently responded to my questions to her about the Master Cleanse. Her endorsement: a ringing NO! She said that she would not recommend the program based on her personal experiences with patients -- "one patient thought he was really sick, as if he was dying" after finishing the cleanse -- and on the lack of "evidence based medicine" supporting the claims of the Cleanse's proponents. This comes as no surprise, as mainstream medicine is generally distrustful of alternative medicine. But we will have to be careful about getting our bodies back in working order.
We are near the end, folks. Come 4 PM today, this fast is history.
Thursday, June 19, 2008
9! Which is one less than 10!!!
Last full day of fasting!
Bartley is, of all things, at Six Flags with his co-workers. First off, who does that, and secondly, he's going to pass out on a roller coaster. Which could be kinda cool. or extremely dangerous, depending on how you look at it.
I am just at regular ol' work, chugging my lemonade and dreaming of this weekend's gastronomical delights (solidity-- O, glee!).
Mister B's tongue is losing the white coating, so I guess the timing is good. Mine still never picked it up at his level, but he says he ran into a friend of his who has been vegetarian/vegan for a number of years and did the fast, and she also didn't get the film. Awesome, I'm non-toxic. But then why am I not eating?
Quite a few people have expressed deep concern for my health. I am ok! Sure, I'm a weakling now, and hungry, but I couldn't imagine I've done any permanent damage. All the vitamins will rush my bloodstream this weekend as I re-discover beets, spinach, quinoa, beans, broccolini sauteed in garlic, olive oil and pine nuts.. ok, I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Food! Soon!
Bartley is, of all things, at Six Flags with his co-workers. First off, who does that, and secondly, he's going to pass out on a roller coaster. Which could be kinda cool. or extremely dangerous, depending on how you look at it.
I am just at regular ol' work, chugging my lemonade and dreaming of this weekend's gastronomical delights (solidity-- O, glee!).
Mister B's tongue is losing the white coating, so I guess the timing is good. Mine still never picked it up at his level, but he says he ran into a friend of his who has been vegetarian/vegan for a number of years and did the fast, and she also didn't get the film. Awesome, I'm non-toxic. But then why am I not eating?
Quite a few people have expressed deep concern for my health. I am ok! Sure, I'm a weakling now, and hungry, but I couldn't imagine I've done any permanent damage. All the vitamins will rush my bloodstream this weekend as I re-discover beets, spinach, quinoa, beans, broccolini sauteed in garlic, olive oil and pine nuts.. ok, I'm getting a little ahead of myself. Food! Soon!
Wednesday, June 18, 2008
Lemon Hell
Today is day eight of the fast. I'm starting to take to the side effects not so kindly. My tongue is a mucusy white sponge, and it seems to have lost the ability to taste sweet. It's almost become a spectrometer for taste, blocking out all tastes but cringe-inducing acids. This has me very concerned, as I am a chocoholic of the first degree. Now when I drink the lemonade, all I taste is the acid: no sweet, and no hot. I can feel a vague burning sensation in my mouth from all the cayenne pepper I dumped in there this morning, but I've basically been sucking down lemon juice all day. And every one of the last eight days. For future reference, I will NOT take my Hefeweizen with a slice of lemon, thank you much!
Day 8
Every night, I feel like absolute crap, and by 10 pm I'm like, "There is no way this can possibly keep going a few more days," but then I wake up and I've hit the refresh button. I am not at peak performance, certainly, but I continue to function!
Sigur Ros and the exhibit were, duh, amazing, and we didn't pass out, but almost left early due to back/leg/cramp pain. (that makes me feel so old)
So, after telling Bartley every night that "I might cave tomorrow", I've finally resolved I can make it the full ten. Cause, I mean, what's two more, anyway?
Looking forward to Friday night's juice.
Sigur Ros and the exhibit were, duh, amazing, and we didn't pass out, but almost left early due to back/leg/cramp pain. (that makes me feel so old)
So, after telling Bartley every night that "I might cave tomorrow", I've finally resolved I can make it the full ten. Cause, I mean, what's two more, anyway?
Looking forward to Friday night's juice.
Tuesday, June 17, 2008
1 week!
Holy guacamole-- we haven't eaten in a week! I have a very hard time wrapping my mind around that, paired with the fact that not only am I still standing, but I am living and functioning not far below my normal aptitude! I've had, er, moments of defeat that Bartley has had to endure, but right now I am feeling good and ready to take it on.
It's going to be a long day. We will continue our theme of ice and snow tonight with Sigur Ros at MoMA, as a part of an exhibit of Icelandic artist Olafur Eliasson. There's an open bar of Icelandic vodka, not that we'd notice *sigh*. My roommate says the tickets sold out in about 10 minutes, so we were very lucky to get them while in Portland. Last time I saw them I paid a good deal more, and I've never been to MoMA. Hopefully if I faint during the performance it will be from the sheer bliss of musical ecstasy.
But, you're reading this to hear about us not eating, so more on that: we can't stop talking about what we should eat when we do eat again. Although orange juice is the most widely recommended for ingestion to come off the fast, I think we're both pretty sick of fruit juice, so I'm going to go for veggie juice. mmm, beets, greens, carrots, ginger... ugh i can't think about this! 3 days til!!!
Saturday: Farmer's market, where we will buy whatever vegetables look good and then decide if we want to make broth or just prepare them any delicious way we want, though they say to start raw. Gazpacho and guacamole? Then-- should we take the money we saved this week and get an amazing, delicious, healthy meal at a semi-swank b'klyn joint? perhaps. Diner, I've got my eye on you... (lots of organic and local!)
My body still seems reluctant to do anything weird and convince me I am doing this for a reason, but I'll let you know if it does, sparing the intimate details of digestion. Other sites I've read claim everything from acne to energy to soreness in old injuries. I've had a bit of back pain, but nothing notable. The important part to remember is that maybe I do have willpower after all and I really don't have to eat tortilla chips because they are in my face-- I can wait until I find a healthy snack or until I am legitimately hungry! We'll see if I have actually learned anything.
It's going to be a long day. We will continue our theme of ice and snow tonight with Sigur Ros at MoMA, as a part of an exhibit of Icelandic artist Olafur Eliasson. There's an open bar of Icelandic vodka, not that we'd notice *sigh*. My roommate says the tickets sold out in about 10 minutes, so we were very lucky to get them while in Portland. Last time I saw them I paid a good deal more, and I've never been to MoMA. Hopefully if I faint during the performance it will be from the sheer bliss of musical ecstasy.
But, you're reading this to hear about us not eating, so more on that: we can't stop talking about what we should eat when we do eat again. Although orange juice is the most widely recommended for ingestion to come off the fast, I think we're both pretty sick of fruit juice, so I'm going to go for veggie juice. mmm, beets, greens, carrots, ginger... ugh i can't think about this! 3 days til!!!
Saturday: Farmer's market, where we will buy whatever vegetables look good and then decide if we want to make broth or just prepare them any delicious way we want, though they say to start raw. Gazpacho and guacamole? Then-- should we take the money we saved this week and get an amazing, delicious, healthy meal at a semi-swank b'klyn joint? perhaps. Diner, I've got my eye on you... (lots of organic and local!)
My body still seems reluctant to do anything weird and convince me I am doing this for a reason, but I'll let you know if it does, sparing the intimate details of digestion. Other sites I've read claim everything from acne to energy to soreness in old injuries. I've had a bit of back pain, but nothing notable. The important part to remember is that maybe I do have willpower after all and I really don't have to eat tortilla chips because they are in my face-- I can wait until I find a healthy snack or until I am legitimately hungry! We'll see if I have actually learned anything.
Monday, June 16, 2008
We had some massive highs, we had some crushing lows
So I made it through the weekend in NYC! So many temptations around every corner -- the ring of the Softee truck, the smell of roasting meat on a spit, the sight of cheese melting off a pizza glimpsed through a passing window -- but so far no transgressions.
Today my vital signs continue to hold up, and my general health feels good. My tongue continues to be gross and gooey. The troubling sign is that I've noticed that there are three "zones" on my tongue that have not taken the mucus. My theory is that these are the cells on my tongue that have been burned to death by pizza. My mouth feels a bit chalky however, like someone emptied a chalk eraser into a glass of water and forced me to drink it.
One of the greatest insights of the fast for me has been experiencing life sans caffeine. I love coffee, and I can't remember a day in the last five years (before the fast) that I have used it. I have a caffeine addiction, no buts about it. Sure the highs are nice, but the crushing lows usually wreck my day. And right now, I am experiencing none of that. Just even-focus, even-energy, even-spirit. All day. Damn I miss my coffee buzz, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it!
Today my vital signs continue to hold up, and my general health feels good. My tongue continues to be gross and gooey. The troubling sign is that I've noticed that there are three "zones" on my tongue that have not taken the mucus. My theory is that these are the cells on my tongue that have been burned to death by pizza. My mouth feels a bit chalky however, like someone emptied a chalk eraser into a glass of water and forced me to drink it.
One of the greatest insights of the fast for me has been experiencing life sans caffeine. I love coffee, and I can't remember a day in the last five years (before the fast) that I have used it. I have a caffeine addiction, no buts about it. Sure the highs are nice, but the crushing lows usually wreck my day. And right now, I am experiencing none of that. Just even-focus, even-energy, even-spirit. All day. Damn I miss my coffee buzz, but I'm beginning to wonder if it's worth it!
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